Danial, Azrai and I sent Ami Shahril to the ERL station last Wednesday morning for him to catch his flight to Singapore. As he waved goodbye, and walked towards the ticket booth, I fought back my tears watching him leaving us behind to start his life in Singapore and how simple it was. He's off to start a new life with just a luggage and his computer bag. My little brother is growing up into a man now.
Of course I was happy when he finally got through his Singapore Airlines interview after the third attempt a month before. I knew that I will have this heavy heart seeing him leave. After all, he's been with me ever since I got married and Danial has always known him to be around since forever. Though he travels a lot but I always know that he's coming home. Things are going to be different around the house now. I've been putting off cleaning up his room, maybe I need time to accept the changes.
I've told Azrai recently that I'm living the 'Classic Eldest Child Lifestyle'. By that I mean I'm the only sibling who's still living in the same country as my parents where I can keep an eye on them, settled down with a family and have a certain routine. Have I conform to the norm? the dull and boring? Or is this 'Middle Age Syndrome' kicking in? It's not that I have regrets in life. I think I have regrets for the things I didn't get the chance to do, and not being gutsy enough to do it.
The truth is I was or am melancholic about this whole moving on thing. I'm happy to see my brother getting on in life but sad to see him leave. I know my other brother is having the time of his life in San Francisco. I just feel left behind...
Now I know the real reason for the emotional roller coaster ride! I'm due for my period. Duh!
