Mommy's day out

Joan Seow, an ex-colleague from Royal Selangor called last Thursday and invited me to a luncheon with a few other ex-RS on Saturday, which I eagerly accept. After being partially isolated with Danial most of the time for the past 5 months, I look forward for human interaction other than Danial's dad, Nenek and Makcik Tini. So, after giving an advance notice to Azrai, I can't wait for Saturday to come.

I went and ran some errands on Friday and took Danial along with me. Good thing the girls at Ascendur, Fida and Aini are very accomodating and helpful. Danial was asleep in the car when I reached MAA building so I called Fida and she's willing to come down with the documents and meet me. It's the security guard that is making things difficult. He won't even let me park for a freaking minute to sort out my work. It's not that I'm parking the car and leaving it there. I'm just by the car and somebody is there to meet me. If any of the MAA big guns drives in, I can easily move my car without hassle at all. Sometimes, its the small people like the guard that makes life difficult, not the big guns.

Having done that, I called up Danial's nenek in Damansara and said that we'll be coming over. It's like the unwritten protocol to call beforehand to inform them of our arrival. I guess, these folks don't like surprises. Nah, actually, my inlaws are from the old school. They need the early warning system so that they can get ready and look their best when people come to their home. They'd never be caught unprepared or inappropriately dressed.

After lunch, I took Danial's nenek and Makcik Tini to Midvalley. I need to get some stuff for Danial anyway so I asked nenek if she wants to come along. Initially, she wasn't up to it. She was feeling tired and lazy. So, I said it's OK. She wanted Makcik Tini to come along with me. I think it's more to help me manage with Danial, more than getting some groceries for themselves. As we're getting ready to go, she changed her mind and decided to come along.

She called Danial's datuk to tell him that she's going out. Datuk warned Makcik Tini to look after nenek and not let her pusing-pusing, and not to tire me out and reminded her that I had my miscarriage before because I moved a lot taking nenek here and there. I felt sorry for nenek. It wasn't her fault at all. It was not meant to be and I know who put all this idea into datuk's head, that B**** I told nenek, not to worry. It was I who asked her to come along. It's no trouble at all and we're going to have a good time.

We got our groceries at Carrefour. I got Danial more Gerber baby food since it's cheaper there than Giant and new silicone teats for his bottles . Nenek was kind enough to put all the items in her bill and paid for it. Then, we went to the children's department in Jusco for a matress for Danial's cot. We should have gone there first then do the groceries rather than lug all our shopping along with us. Good thing Nenek and Makcik Tini came along as Danial refused to sit in his stroller so I had to carry him.

D-Day came. I left the house without turning back. I know Danial is in good hands, his Babah . I had to see my investor in Cheras first and get it done with. At least, the commission earned that day can pay for my lunch. Lunch was to be at Cafe on 10th, Crown Princess Hotel, Jalan Ampang. There was Joan, the mastermind of the get-together, Shirley, JK, KK, Violet and Julie. We had a good time catching up on the latest gossip and happening in and outside Royal Selangor. I for one was making the most of it and only got home at 5pm. Azrai was at the door waiting for me with Danial. Now, he knows how I look forward for him to come home everyday so that he can take care of Danial for a change. Danial was fed and changed, not something I can say about Azrai. After half a day with Danial, he didn't have the time to shower.

5 months and going strong

Danial turned 5 months last Monday (20th February 2006) and I only realized it at the end of the day; Which is typical when you have a baby that keeps you busy the whole day. Wow... how time flies. Are we having fun? It has its rewards. Especially when I look at Danial and be contantly amazed with his new discoveries everyday. In my case, happen on a daily basis.

What have I learnt after 5 months of parenting? Well, I know that once you are good at something, Danial would give you a new challenge to conquer. For instance, Azrai and I can manage his bath time and diaper change single handedly. But since Danial started to roll over on his tummy, it's increasingly difficult to change him. So, we have to learn to put his diaper or his clothes on when he's on his tummy or prop him up.

I've also learnt to take it easy. I don't immediately rush to get Danial when he cries. I can even let him cry himself to sleep without the guilty feeling of being a bad mommy. I think I have the balance just right. I don't spoil him rotten and I don't ignore him. Of which, I don't believe any of that is possible. You can never spoil a baby and believe me, you can never ignore a baby especially when they're screaming their hearts out.

Ahhh... Life is good. Sure there'll be new things to conquer tomorrow. Like my brother said, "Well, you signed up for it" and I did and there's no backing out and no regrets. And what does tomorrow holds for me? More diaper change, poopy , messy feeding time, occassional tantrum , back-aches, sleep deprivation .... All that for Danial... and I say, "BRING IT ON!"

Motherhood is not for wimps

I wished I came up with that slogan but I didn't. I came across it while browsing fome blogs on motherhood and I can't agree with it more. Motherhood is definitely not for wimps.

I was put to the test when Azrai had to go out station for the whole week this week. The choking, overwhelming sensation of not having another person to tag-team with to handle Danial creeps in. Nevertheless, I brace myself. Not that I have a choice since Azrai is the main breadwinner for the family. I wasn't too happy knowing that Azrai could have plan a shorter trip but no amount of sulking could change the situation. Plus, he bribed me with a Ipod Nano last week, as a gift from Danial for taking care of him. Coincidently, it was 10 Muharram and it was said that it's encouraged for you to splurge on your family. Hey, who am I to refuse to be splurged at?

Azrai left on Sunday night, just after dinner. Nothing much to do but to put Danial to bed. Monday, I took Danial to Mak Ot's house in Bangi. So far, so good. No sweat. I might just make it ok after all. As the days go by, my energy level drop lower and lower. By Wednesday, I had to call for reinforcement, my mother in-law; God bless her! More so, God bless Tini, her Indonesian maid. I packed up Danial's stuff and mine and crash at my inlaws. At least they keep Danial entertained while I get some rest time.

I can't feel more relieved that Azrai managed to finish his work early by one day. I don't think I can extend my stay at my inlaws. I try to keep to the rule of thumb for house-guests;

'Guests are like ; They tend to smell after 3 days.'

So, before I outstay my welcome, I have to collect more brownie points to ask for favor in the future.

In conclusion, after 4 days with my , my body is aching all over like I've been hit by a truck over and over and over again. I'm definitely no wimp!

Birthday party

Tok Mami
Originally uploaded by Danial Raziq.

Now that we have become parents, we seem to get more invitations to kids birthday parties. In fact, just last week, we attended Azmel and Ida's girl, 5th birthday party. This week, it's Alysha Qistina Mizani's 3rd birthday party. Abang Chop and Kak Haz had it at McDonald's Mutiara Damansara. It's convenient and hassle free. This time around, it's more of a kid's birthday as there were more kids than adults.

As for me, I'm taking mental notes as preparation when it comes to planning Danial's birthday party. A good advice I got from a friend is to start having birthday parties when Danial turns 3 up to 5. At most maybe until 7. Anything earlier than that, he'd be too young to remember or enjoy any of it. After the age of 7, he'd be embarass to have birthday parties.

Talking about birthday parties, you have to get the birthday girl or boy a birthday present. After 2 birthday parties, I've concluded that the inflation rate for kids' toys have gone up 100 times! You can hardly find anything nice for less than 50 ringgit. They are spoilt for choices too, especially for girls. At this rate, I think we have fulfilled our quota for birthday parties for the month.

If if was up to me, I'd rather Danial get angpows than toys. I wonder what would people think if I put a p/s in the invitation card, 'Cash preferred'... hehehehe, just kidding! I don't think Danial would like that.

Big time bummer

I have no intentions of becoming a stay at home mom even though I adore Danial. I feel that I can contribute to the household income if I'm out there working. It's no rocket science. It is as plain as day. Then the 'but' comes in... But it's not that easy especially I don't have a maid or nanny for Danial.

I thought grandparents would jump at the opportunity to babysit their grandchildren. What more if it's their first but I can't be more wrong. Or maybe it's exclusively my misfortune. This morning, I tried to make arrangements to have Danial's granny to babysit him tomorrow while I go and see a prospective investor , I received a reluctant answer from my own mother. She agreed but not enthusiastically. What more, she can criticize my parenting methods; saying that I don't use 'buaian' to put Danial to sleep, I don't give him pacifier, and all that makes it all the more difficult for her to babysit her only grandchild! What nerve! I'd rather take a flat "No" than her criticism.

So, I thought I'd swallow my pride and just leave Danial with my mom and go for my appointment but I was upset. It's true that only your loved ones can hurt you. I don't take any nonsense when it comes to my baby and our parenting choices. I'm left with one last option, to ask a favor from my mother in law. I didn't ask her in the first place because,

1. She's 74 while my mom is 54.
2. She's a cancer survivor, she has some good days and some not so good days.

No doubt, it was a resounding 'Yes'. You can hear the immediate excitement in her tone at the prospect of having Danial to play with. I just feel relief that at least this granny loves Danial unconditionally even though she already has 4 other grandchildren. I've always thought that's the way it should be. Grandparents would just do anything for their grandchild. But, today, my own mother disproved the general hypothesis.

So, I went back to my mother via short messaging on the mobile and told her that the arrangement is off and I won't trouble her with Danial ever again. And knowing my mother, she'd want to have the last word. She called me back on my mobile time and time again, I chosed to ignore her. She called home too. I unhook the phone because it was disturbing Danial's nap. Furthermore, I don't want to deal with her yet or I might say something I regret. No matter how upset I am with my mother, as a daughter, I still have to watch what I say or do. It's something I pick up from my brothers. Though they are younger than me, they sure are wiser when it comes to dealing with our mother. The general philosophy is, 'If you can't argue with her, stay away'. Boy really outdid it by choosing to live in the States. As for Adik, his job as a Malaysia Airline steward is a solace and my house is a haven if he's not flying.

Since she couldn't get me on the phone, she short texted me and sounded as though I blew this out of proportion and she appeared to be the hurt party. Talk about turning the table on you! My mother is a pro at inflicting guilt on others. That's one reason I don't want to talk to her as yet. I thought having done her Haji in Mekah would make her a better person. Nope, she's still the difficult person to deal with before her trip to Mekah. Nothing has changed. Good thing I didn't have such high hopes for that or I'm in for another big time bummer

As for my appointment, it was cancelled. It turned out to be I don't need a babysitter after all. All the heart ache for nothing... Well, C'est la vie

You've got to start somewhere...

"There's no better time than now". I think somebody said that and after chatting with my very convincing brother earlier this evening, I've decided to start blogging. Like he says (my bro that is), it's going to be something special that I can share with my little boy, Danial, when he's able to read.

I have thought about blogging during pregnancy. And as a teenager, I did enjoy putting my personal thoughts in my treasured diary, so blogging should come naturally to me. I never got into it then came Danial and the blog thingy took a backseat.

My weak excuse to Boy when we argue the case of to blog or not to blog is after being a full time mom (when is it ever a part time?) for four months, I simply can't find the time. Yes, it's not easy taking care of a baby. Don't take me wrong, I'm not regreting our decision of becoming parents. Having Danial is the best thing that can happen to us. All I want to say is, to all you mommies out there, I salute you!