Getting Pregnant

No! I'm not pregnant again. Though we are working towards having a baby brother or sister for Danial but at the time this blog is typed, I'm positively not pregnant.

I was thinking a lot about pregnancy lately. As I was putting away my pregnancy clothes and Danial's clothes, I missed being pregnant. I missed having that little person growing in me, getting the butterflies when the baby starts kicking in my tummy. It's a neat experience that every woman should go through.

Earlier tonight, I was SMSing my cousin sister, Hazel. I got to know that she had another miscarriage. There have been so many that I lost count. I feel sorry for her. I know both Hazel and Is really want a child together. They've been married even before Azrai and I got married. I know how Hazel's feeling after each miscarriage. When I had my first miscarriage (before I got pregnant with Danial), I was devastated beyond anything else. In actual sense, I haven't even bond with the baby yet. It's not even a baby at that stage. It's more of a pea yet I mourn my loss. That's why I wasn't taking any chances with Danial when I got pregnant the second time around. Being pregnant is special... I miss being pregnant again...

I was also talking to my former colleague in Royal Selangor, TBS. She's now 5 and a half months pregnant with triplets after and IVF treatment. She's been married for 10 years and tried other fertility treatments without much success. It is a huge investment for her to have babies. She invested more than RM16K for the IVF procedure and store the remaining of her eggs for an annual fee of RM300 per egg and RM30 per egg monthly. Having babies is very expensive nowadays.

Before I got married, I thought it's easy to get pregnant. I thought I'd get pregnant easily too. My period is always on time but I couldn't be more wrong. After the first miscarriage, we had to get help in the form of Dr. Mani (God bless her) and work on getting Danial. I'm lucky because Azrai is very supportive and made it a lot easier. Thank God that I did have to go beyond taking pills because we hit the jackpot after 3 months.

Danial just turn 10 months yesterday. Time flies when you have a baby around. Danial seems to grow so fast. It seems like only yesterday that I held him for the first time. He was so tiny. Sometimes, when I look at Danial, I'm still amazed that this is the little person that I carried my tummy for 9 months. And when I look back, I've come a long way too. I've added more feathers to my cap. I'm a daughter, a woman, a wife, and a mother...